Boredom, and booze in A transparent lockbox

Something I have been battling recently is my boredom and sobriety. Sometimes I lay here in bed and think about how boring it is to be sober. I never had a specific drinking or drug problem, but I have an anhedonia problem. Very little is stimulating to me. Substances like alcohol, weed, and nicotine were things that made daily life a little less mundane. Though I don’t consider myself an alcoholic or addict, I do believe I have unhealthy drinking habits. Whenever I was bored I would just go make a drink or five. On occasion, I just sit here and think about how nice being drunk would be. To confess, the only thing that stops me from starting again is vanity. When I drank my skin was puffy, red, and dehydrated, and I just didn’t look good in general. I look much better now, healthier and more defined bone structure. It is pathetic, but my shallowness is the main thing that keeps me sober. The boredom I have is untouched by sex, travel, friendships, or anything else I’ve thought of.