Entries 1,401
Page 54 of 57
Regrets
Last night I dreamt about something that is still eating away at my soul and I woke up so flustered. “The first thing we need to fix is your expectations. You’ll never get rid of your acne scars....
Sickening
Yesterday I went out for dinner with the boys. Aside from the bad day that I had at work I did end my birthday on a good note. On my way home I had to drive home in our first blizzard and the roa...
33 Times Around the Sun
My mother surprised me yesterday. My family gets together this time every year to celebrate me and my twin sisters birthdays (they were born 4 days before my first birthday). She found a pizza pl...
11:11 New Year 11:11
I’ve been seeing those double digits again, 11:11 and 22:22. I had planned my whole week around going to the casino last night. Just for an hour and just by myself. I had a ballot that I wanted t...
Metasomething
There is this woman on YouTube who shared her story and I fell in love with her life. I think it spoke to me because it is everything that I secretly desire for myself. I also realized a while ag...
Anxiety and Work
I usually have more control over my anxiety but it has been a bit of struggle the last few days. My boss is transferring my assistant and my supervisor to his new store and I am pretty much left ...
Xoxox-mas!
Christmas is about being with family and I am waiting for my roommates to leave so that I can be the fuck alone lol. It’s actually going to be a perfect day! Merry Christmas people! xoxo
Roots
I suppose that I like to shrink my surroundings when I’m feeling stress. It sunk in last night how small my life has become. I am not living. I do not even know how I would become larger than lif...
Frost
Sometimes I forget that I am present in this world. I need to ground myself and be outside again. I took this shot the other day when I went for a walk. My city was swallowed up in a fog.
Wrong Vibes
My mini-meltdown in my previous entry was a bad idea. I cannot give that kind of energy any breathing room. I just need to sleep better. I can’t cope with anything when I am tired. I whine about ...
Old Habits Die Hard
Do you ever start your day off on a bad note and then spend the rest of the day just looking for reasons to be upset? Choices. I’ve been in my head way too much this week. Mostly about work. I su...
Move
This living arrangement with my sister and her husband is a beautiful thing for them. They both get to work full-time. My sister has somebody else who cooks, cleans and does chores. Somebody who ...
Choices
I had an anxiety attack last night. I suppose I have a lot of feelings that I will need to process sooner or later. That is what anxiety is right? Unprocessed feelings? I am patiently waiting for...
Silver and Gold
I have accepted that hair loss has come for me. I am eventually going to get around to finding myself a doctor again. Baldness does not run in my family so I am hoping that I have something as si...
Suspense
Yesterday I had so much energy that I thought I was manic. I worked out for 3 hours and it did not die. I went for a half hour run before the snowfall and my energy did not die. I then took the d...
Waste
Today was so wasteful. I accomplished nothing today. I was too tired to even care to try. I just let everything go and I don’t feel as bad about it as I thought I would have. Especially since I m...
Under Selfie Control
I have been feeling more like myself again and it came from the dumbest reason. A month ago I bought a long top coat that I saw in a window. I had to fight with some prissy twink to take it off t...
Reality Check Please
I have a history of sleep paralysis and the worst part of every experience is when I become aware that I am dreaming. I am conscious inside a nightmare and the attacks become real experiences for...
Said and done
“His personal life is one thing but if he was having his affair at one of my stores then I have zero tolerance for that. I asked around and these claims seem pretty credible but I do not have con...
Return
I return to work today. The headspace was nice. I got to think for myself for a whole week. I updated my resume yesterday morning. I redid the entire thing and i feel so confident about it. I’m g...
Desultory
On Wednesday Leanne and I went to a musical together. Chicago. It was very well done. It was also my city’s first snowfall. It was a beautiful evening. I was so smitten by one of the guys on stag...
Long Story Short
There were a lot of boxes that I hadn’t unpacked since I moved into my sisters. I was close to bankruptcy when I had my nervous breakdown. I was about ready to do a consumer proposal when my sist...
Updates about nothing
It is embarrassing when I have a moment and just whine like a spoiled brat. I just feel so much better for bit. I at least go numb to what hurts me. . Want to know something weird? I got a haircu...
Pity Party For One
I saw a specialist for my acne scarring and she gave me the truth like nobody has ever given it to me before. “I want you to have realistic expectations and understand that a scar is a scar and i...
Spirits. Am I a medium?
Allow me to sound crazy for a moment. . The first time was when one of my childhood friends passed away in high school. It was the start of senior year and I was the last person that she spoke t...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently